Robots are people too...

So far my day has been positively uneventful. I went to work-out and the treadmill kept stopping for no obvious reason. And why do we call it working OUT anyway...I was on an indoor machine with a 3 foot extension chord. Work-OUT? I never work-out. I always work-in. I'm surrounded by rows of televisions and two radio stations playing simultaneously. It's a multi-media coctail. Add to that the fact that some people now jog and talk on their mobile phones at the same time, and it looks like our slight dependency has become a giant digital sucubus. I'm guilty too. Like most Americans, I will drive the 2 miles to the gym and then jog 5. (in my defense, the clouds do look quite threatening today, and I've long established that any gods that still reign on Mt. Olympus don't look at me favorably...better not risk it.) It does help to drive home the point that we have almost made another giant leap in evolution...With our increasing dependence on technology, we are making the leap from homo-sapiens to robo-sapiens.

I definately see the downside...I have relatives that will spend 10 minutes trying to get their electric can openers to work when the simple twist version works just fine. Kerchunk! crank, crank, crank...Tuna. Never fails. I know people who run the a.c. and sleep under blankets. Our general philosophy seems to be that any machine, no matter how cumbersome and counter-productive it might be, is a relfection on its masters prowess. (And if said master manages to make it to retirement with 10 fingers, then that's just gravy!) When people drive, the distinction between the personality of the driver and the car is often blurred to the point that they are one entity. At least that's the justification I use when I flip-off everyone I see driving a hummer...as if one is needed.

But bring on the robo-age, I say. I WANT to have a jet-pack installed. With x-ray vision! And a ray-gun! (Damn the pidgeons, full steam ahead!) I want to be able to slice, dice, and julien in the buff! And most importantly, I want to be able to call in sick because I've slipped in the shower and my hard-drive crashed! No more dodgy knees, trick shoulders, iffy ankles, or sketchy vision. And just think about what it could do to your sexual prowess. (I've just upgraded to bootyshack 3.0 baby...how's about coming back to my place? I'm built by Bill Gates, but I'm not micro, and I'm not soft...) Of course on the downside, all of us might come out sounding like Stephen Hawking. That's really the only thing that could make Celine Dion even more annoying.

Damn it all, I say! Bring on the machines. Bring on the robo-sapiens. After all...robots are people too. Good-bye flesh and blood, hello rapture!